Working Moms v/s Stay At Home Moms

Motherhood is lovely and joyful. Its full of love and all hearts. Buts its tough ... the job is difficult, the role a complex one, the birth of a child - life changing.

What adds another layer of complexity is in the way the mother lives her life post child birth. While the world is quick to take sides and judge SAHMs (Stay At Home Moms) over working moms or vice versa, the fact remains that agendas and issues float in all cases, only their challenges & nature change depending on which side of the fence one is on.

So what do women in either roles live with?

Lets start with Working moms ...

GUILT ... Most working ladies suffer from that guilt of having left their children with their grandparents /maids /day cares etc and not being around the child. Add to this the tight corporate/ professional timelines which hound them and must be met with. And OH MY GOD, the day your child falls sick, its time to up your survival spirit.

Some moms work because they have EMI's /mortgages to pay, take care of the school fees or simply have ends to meet and bills to pay. Some work for their passion or sanity. But either way, you are not having it easy. You must only have very strong coping mechanisms, for balancing work with kids. And that is hugely demanding !!!

Working moms are also usually WORRIED. Worried about not being around on time for school, homework, events, health and sickness or anywhere where else where moms are usually meant to be.

Now Stay At Home Moms (SAHM)

While the larger part of the world loves to believe that SAHMs live wonderfully comfortable lives, the truth can be slightly different. There are days when you don't even have a cup of tea peacefully, leave alone living a fancy life. Meals have to be finished in seconds.You look mirror cracking type on most days and an entire day of listening to baby banter, rhymes and toons can make you feel like a cartoon yourself. You know much like Tom from Tom & Jerry cartoons where the poor fellow gets his head whacked and tiny little birds come flying in circles above him.

Add to this the ambience you sit in all day long. It feels like an aeroplane carrying toys just exploded above your head and each time you get done cleaning up one crash site, another aeroplane loaded with toys comes flying and explodes again above your head. So you are sitting in a place comparable to a site of a disaster zone all day and that can be unbelievably irritating. And its not cute !!!

The work with kids just doesn't end, you don't get time to yourself. A 5 - minute task too could take upto hours to finish.

And as much as anytime is well deserved for a break, that time does not arrive.
Say Bye Bye ME time.

It can take a toll on an emotional level too. If you were previously working and had a glorious career behind you, then the reality of the current situation begins to bite you. Because come on, however beautiful "Motherhood" might be, there are moments when you miss your financial independence, your work circle and your identity outside of your house. You miss your space ... you miss "your" time.

I wake up each morning with some 100 WhatsApp messages & photos with colourful texts about positivity and enlightenment. Though with a few clicks I delete all of them, one common tonality in those texts is of "POSITIVITY". We grew up listening to that cliched phrase of grass being greener on the other side; however the new mantra says that grass is greener where you water it.

So if you are a SAHM, look to the plus side. Although you may think that you are professionally not independent, you are at least not dependent on grandparents, maids, day cares to take care of your child. You have taken full responsibility of him/ her.
Not having to compromise or bend backwards in front of anyone for handling / raising your child is a great gift my friend. You have complete control on the situation and 100% say in what you do for your child. Thats great Independence ...  Now clap for yourself !!!

If you are a Working Mom, there's so much you can do for your child with that money coming in. Provide a better lifestyle, better education etc etc.
Additionally your sense of purpose is probably making you a role model for some in the society (apart from your children). Pick any stream - teaching, medicine, science, banking, IT, law, media, entertainment  - would they work without women?

So don't judge, don't bother if you get judged. The ones judging you are coming from a place of cluelessness and ignorance.
Everybody's paths are unique. As long as you are raising a healthy, happy child there are no right or wrong ways.

Do share your experiences with us in the comments below.

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  1. Wow... no other blog i have ever read made me feel so good....nicely ans most appropriately written...every word expresses the feelings so correctly...


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